Financial woes

Just yesterday, I took some time off for myself to reflect what I've been doing lately. To be honest, it wasn't the usual me. After 2 Saturdays of partying, yea no doubt it was fun, but I couldn't get away from my troubles so easily. Unfortunately, I still have to face the reality. Yesterday was D day. I sat on the concrete outside my room, plugged in my MP3 player and just relax. Feel the breeze and stare at the sky. For that period of time, I was totally in my own world. Believe it or not, I sat there watching the clear sky turned into orangy horizon till it became all dark.

Images from past went through my mind, one by one. It appeared like mini TV screens and all those were quite recent ones, probably dated back till december 2009. I paused at one of the image - two weeks ago at my hairdresser's. Reflected, and the topic was about financial woes in a relationship.

She shared her experience with us which I assume its about 20 years back. She said all was good with her husband, lovey dovey and all sorts until she gave birth to her first child. Problem begins, they argued everyday. The cause of it? Money - milk powder, diapers and the like.

Its common, but at the same time, it struck me.

Its something which shouldn't happen. You didn't sign the papers to argue over financial status. You didn't sign the papers to argue everyday over small matters. Instead, it should be worked out properly by the couple way before the kid is born.

Financial woes, if not properly managed, is definitely a problem between couples, whether its new or established. As a result of the current financial crisis, couples are finding themselves between a rock and a hard place in countless instances. Many are also finding themselves with the added stress of unhappy relationship. Their financial woes push them toward separation, however, their financial difficulties prevent them, in their mind from calling it quits.

This is what American couples are facing - relationships fall out due to the increasing financial difficulties. (as of 2008)

Here are some tips which can help stop fighting over finance and enjoy a more rewarding and stress-free relationship (provided by associated content):-

• Understand that money is not the only issue. Financial fracases usually involve more complex and deeper issues than money. Security, control, and power are all underlying themes when it comes to fights over finances. When money is tight, security is a very real issue, and can lead to irritations and complaints. Control and power are closely related. Ideas of who should make the decisions, or one partner constantly making purchases without consulting with the other lead to struggles over control and turn money into the currency of familial power.

• Talk about financial issues. Just as any other aspect of a relationship requires communication, money matters need talking about. It is important to air your fears and hopes, as well as articulate your strengths and weaknesses with money. You should also listen to your partner and try to understand where he or she is coming from. Talk about the underlying issues that increase your financial struggles, and try to figure out, together, how to overcome these struggles. These communications should be calm in nature, and you should do as much listening as talking.

• Create some rules. Rules establish order and often provide comfort, whether we like to admit it or not. When you set rules for spending, however, you should understand that each party will have to give in some, and that compromise is necessary.

• Set common goals. Just having rules is not enough. You can increase your financial harmony by working toward common money dreams. Working together to reach goals can help you to feel more connected, and more like partners. The goals should be short term, medium term, and long term. Short-term goals like saving a little each month for a movie night or dining out give immediate rewards and are encouraging. Medium-range goals like saving up for family vacation, a new car, or a home down payment keep you focused on a reward and brings you together with mutual sacrifice. Long-term goals include things like retirement savings and making plans for when the kids are out of the house. This provides something for you to look forward to as a couple as long as you are together. **Applies to established relationship.

Couples, on the whole, shouldn't feel tied to their relationship because of their financial circumstances. Their emotional wellbeing doesn't have to plummet in line with the stock market. Well, I hope this little tip here helps whoever who's going through these problems. Good luck!

ps: I wonder what happens to leading a simple life...Wonder if its erased from your dictionary ;)